My hands know you
And the nooks of my windpipe
The synapses of my brain
Will know you when you're here again.
Light and shadow don't phase me;
My fingerprints align
To the map of you
Etched in my mind.
Breaths trip over
Each other on their way
In and out
Letting me take more
Than I thought possible
With you
Nothing is surface level
With every move
You dig deeper
Take me further
And withdraw more
Than the last thrust.
You blow the covers off
Carefully structured
Social constructs.
You open doors
I didn't know were shut.
You take control
And take over
And over
And over again...
Till my brain knows you
Till, like braille I can read
The constellation of your scars
Aligned to body memory.
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
Body Memory
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Rules
He couldn't help himself.
"Damnit, how could I have been so stupid?" he cursed himself a million times as he drove home.
He pulled into the demarcated parking spot, killing the engine, and leaning forward onto the wheel. "What have I done..." he groaned.
Eyes closed, he could see her face on his left; anxious eyes, chin resting on the seat next to his, and second-guessing herself. Her eyes glowed no matter what the time of day or night it was, no matter how upset she was, and her eyes had been doing strange things to him for the past almost two years... Something had snapped today. He'd been too tired to fight it...
"I can't do it, I'm so scared..." he'd stopped the car and turned to look at her.
"What of?" it had been an inane question. He knew what she was scared of, he'd seen it building in her eyes every day for the past week.
He'd seen the sheer effort she had put into the smile she flashed him every time he had asked if it was okay... It hadn't been; he'd known that, but he had no choice. And she knew that too... Her eyes told him she did.
Why now? What drove her to say this out loud now?
She looked at him, chin on one hand she'd hooked over the seat, eyes wide, and silently.
"Of the next few days?" He'd supplied, knowing the challenge thrown to him, knowing he was being tested.
She had nodded.
He turned the car off, turning in his seat so the light from the outside would stop hitting her eyes. "You'll do fine... Don't worry..."
Her eyes still shone at him, through the dark, and he could feel his control snap. She sighed, and he knew the next step would be her picking up her stuff and leaving, and the last he would see of those eyes would be worry.
"Hey..."
He'd seen the question, the pause, and he'd gone for it. He couldn't leave her like this, he couldn't leave her so scared, so low on confidence.
He didn't know what anything he did would do to help, apart from if he stayed... "I can't stay back, you know that..."
His hand reached out to her before the words were out of his mouth, cradling her cheek in his palm, he pulled her towards him and kissed her.
She hadn't resisted. He had known she wouldn't... He had seen the feelings she hid from everyone. He'd known. He'd resisted.
But not right now, not at this time, with the end looming in so many ways.
He pulled back, petrified at the reminder his brain had thrown him.
Her eyes told him that she knew the same thing.
She mumbled a quick good night, wished him a safe trip & left, without a glance back.
She hadn't turned back to him when he'd re-entered. Everyone else had called out, hugged him, but not her.
He knew it was forbidden.
He knew it was more than against all the laws he'd drawn up.
But that nonchalance hurt him more than anything else could have...
He didn't see her eyes, staring at his shadow walking across her screen, wishing she could have run into his arms like she had in her dreams a thousand times.
Knowing that it would jeopardize everything that brought them together, she blinked away the tears & stayed in place.
The only thing that would hurt her more would be not seeing him everyday.
He pulled into the demarcated parking spot, killing the engine, and leaning forward onto the wheel. "What have I done..." he groaned.
Eyes closed, he could see her face on his left; anxious eyes, chin resting on the seat next to his, and second-guessing herself. Her eyes glowed no matter what the time of day or night it was, no matter how upset she was, and her eyes had been doing strange things to him for the past almost two years... Something had snapped today. He'd been too tired to fight it...
"I can't do it, I'm so scared..." he'd stopped the car and turned to look at her.
"What of?" it had been an inane question. He knew what she was scared of, he'd seen it building in her eyes every day for the past week.
He'd seen the sheer effort she had put into the smile she flashed him every time he had asked if it was okay... It hadn't been; he'd known that, but he had no choice. And she knew that too... Her eyes told him she did.
Why now? What drove her to say this out loud now?
She looked at him, chin on one hand she'd hooked over the seat, eyes wide, and silently.
"Of the next few days?" He'd supplied, knowing the challenge thrown to him, knowing he was being tested.
She had nodded.
He turned the car off, turning in his seat so the light from the outside would stop hitting her eyes. "You'll do fine... Don't worry..."
Her eyes still shone at him, through the dark, and he could feel his control snap. She sighed, and he knew the next step would be her picking up her stuff and leaving, and the last he would see of those eyes would be worry.
"Hey..."
He'd seen the question, the pause, and he'd gone for it. He couldn't leave her like this, he couldn't leave her so scared, so low on confidence.
He didn't know what anything he did would do to help, apart from if he stayed... "I can't stay back, you know that..."
His hand reached out to her before the words were out of his mouth, cradling her cheek in his palm, he pulled her towards him and kissed her.
She hadn't resisted. He had known she wouldn't... He had seen the feelings she hid from everyone. He'd known. He'd resisted.
But not right now, not at this time, with the end looming in so many ways.
He pulled back, petrified at the reminder his brain had thrown him.
Her eyes told him that she knew the same thing.
She mumbled a quick good night, wished him a safe trip & left, without a glance back.
She hadn't turned back to him when he'd re-entered. Everyone else had called out, hugged him, but not her.
He knew it was forbidden.
He knew it was more than against all the laws he'd drawn up.
But that nonchalance hurt him more than anything else could have...
He didn't see her eyes, staring at his shadow walking across her screen, wishing she could have run into his arms like she had in her dreams a thousand times.
Knowing that it would jeopardize everything that brought them together, she blinked away the tears & stayed in place.
The only thing that would hurt her more would be not seeing him everyday.
It Was Just a Crush
She knew he hadn't dreamed of a day spent within the crowded spaces of city bars.
He had gone along with her demands, and she knew it was unfair that he should have to. But she also knew that she had been too excited to be able to keep comfortable in the setting he'd envisaged.
Two hours after they'd met, she now felt comfortable...
"Academy ka crush ho yaar... There's an importance you wouldn't understand."
She understood.
She remembered those days of rushing to get to training 5, 10, 15 minutes early so they could meet. Not because they got time together, but just so that they could spend as many precious moments being in the same space & being friendly. She remembered the little smile she always had while walking past his squadron, the side-eyed sweep she always gave the windows & the grounds before she drew level, the fluttering in her gut when she saw him from a distance.
She always ended up seeing him.
They shared a rifle.
They shared... A weird connection. It was the kind of connection that allowed them to sit together late into the Delhi winters & talk about his girlfriend & her boyfriend, the kind of connection that made her want to meet him years later when he came to her city, the kind of connection that freaked her out because she knew what she had dreamed it would lead to.
"Let's go?" she had spoken very softly, but she knew he'd heard it.
He looked at her, wondering, she knew, if she would demand to go home after they left. She reached out under the table & curled her fingers around his hand. She wasn't ready to go home yet.
It was drizzling when they left the bar, but they strolled through the streets hand-in-hand without a care for the misty rain. Entering the brightly lit interiors of the hotel, they didn't say much as they took the elevator up to his room.
She was freaking out again, it was too quiet, too sudden, too... Here.
The lights were off as they entered the room; he reached up to put the key card in the slot as they walked in, but she reached up and stopped him.
She turned to push the door shut behind her, holding his hand in hers, rubbing her thumb over his wrist as the light from the corridor was cut out, leaving them in the darkness only hotel rooms can give, alone with their breathing.
She guided his hand to her waist with one hand, reaching to grab his shirt with the other. She could hear him breathing over the thump of her own heartbeat in her ears, as she rose up on her tiptoes, reached one hand up to trace the jaw she'd known would be as sharp as it felt under her fingers.
It was as if something snapped.
With a sudden movement, he cupped her neck and pulled her lips closer to his.
When they kissed, it was like reliving a fantasy... The boy she'd last had a crush on was kissing her back.
He had gone along with her demands, and she knew it was unfair that he should have to. But she also knew that she had been too excited to be able to keep comfortable in the setting he'd envisaged.
Two hours after they'd met, she now felt comfortable...
"Academy ka crush ho yaar... There's an importance you wouldn't understand."
She understood.
She remembered those days of rushing to get to training 5, 10, 15 minutes early so they could meet. Not because they got time together, but just so that they could spend as many precious moments being in the same space & being friendly. She remembered the little smile she always had while walking past his squadron, the side-eyed sweep she always gave the windows & the grounds before she drew level, the fluttering in her gut when she saw him from a distance.
She always ended up seeing him.
They shared a rifle.
They shared... A weird connection. It was the kind of connection that allowed them to sit together late into the Delhi winters & talk about his girlfriend & her boyfriend, the kind of connection that made her want to meet him years later when he came to her city, the kind of connection that freaked her out because she knew what she had dreamed it would lead to.
"Let's go?" she had spoken very softly, but she knew he'd heard it.
He looked at her, wondering, she knew, if she would demand to go home after they left. She reached out under the table & curled her fingers around his hand. She wasn't ready to go home yet.
It was drizzling when they left the bar, but they strolled through the streets hand-in-hand without a care for the misty rain. Entering the brightly lit interiors of the hotel, they didn't say much as they took the elevator up to his room.
She was freaking out again, it was too quiet, too sudden, too... Here.
The lights were off as they entered the room; he reached up to put the key card in the slot as they walked in, but she reached up and stopped him.
She turned to push the door shut behind her, holding his hand in hers, rubbing her thumb over his wrist as the light from the corridor was cut out, leaving them in the darkness only hotel rooms can give, alone with their breathing.
She guided his hand to her waist with one hand, reaching to grab his shirt with the other. She could hear him breathing over the thump of her own heartbeat in her ears, as she rose up on her tiptoes, reached one hand up to trace the jaw she'd known would be as sharp as it felt under her fingers.
It was as if something snapped.
With a sudden movement, he cupped her neck and pulled her lips closer to his.
When they kissed, it was like reliving a fantasy... The boy she'd last had a crush on was kissing her back.
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Funny Man
Doesn't take much these days
A giggle is never too far
Every word lights up her face
Her eyes like distant burning stars
She prods me on to newer heights
I'm in a zone I never knew
Her eyes like beacons, guiding lights
She laughs, just like I want her to.
As I talk, to the world at large
She turns her head to look at me
Her lips tell me she's going to laugh
As she hears the words I speak
And nobody else can now exist
Because she's there, and she approves
I crave the curving of her lips
But there's more that I want to do.
I can imagine her in my arms
Can feel her laughter brush my cheek
It's raining, but I'll keep her warm
As long as she'll say she's mine to keep
I can feel her waist under my fingers
And her fingers on my chest
When I kiss her, she will linger
When she kisses me back, it's best.
The air will heat around us two
There's no need for covering up
I undress her as she wants me to
Kneel in front of her & look up
Into her eyes, smiling down at me
Her fingers caressing my shoulder
When I touch her, she sighs deeply
Her shining eyes begin to smoulder.
I can taste every inch of her
She's arched her back, she's closed her eyes
We're closer than ever before
I move, keeping pace with her sighs
Till our sweat mingles on the ground
She's shaking now, as I reach my peak
In the silence, our breathing loud
I gather her closer, hold her to me.
A burst of laughter breaks the spell
I wake up from my reverie
And think of another story to tell
That will get her to look at me
Unfinished fantasies apart
I'll stand and tell stories all I can
If those are the way to win her heart
I'm glad to be the funny man.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Pencil to Paper
In the dim light, things stopped being so important. The light threw everything into limbo, making the world surreal, making everything glow in a way as to remove all traces of reality.
They spent all night with each other, although most of their night was spent in their respective homes, lying in their solitary beds, and just thinking. About that dim, barely lit world where things ceased to matter and importance was given to important things, not to things like age and time and place.
The dimly lit world went with them, carrying each forward through time, connected by a single thread that was frequently not strong enough to hold them both. Taking turns, they flitted on ahead, playfully settling just close enough for a breeze to touch the other before taking off again.
She teased and he teased, and together they rose in a whirlwind of playful banter and witticisms, as the earth fell away, taking with it considerations of ties and bonds and reality and practicality. They each swept the other on, regardless of how wrong or right or anything of the kind.
Because they were having too much fun being butterflies.
They spent all night with each other, although most of their night was spent in their respective homes, lying in their solitary beds, and just thinking. About that dim, barely lit world where things ceased to matter and importance was given to important things, not to things like age and time and place.
The dimly lit world went with them, carrying each forward through time, connected by a single thread that was frequently not strong enough to hold them both. Taking turns, they flitted on ahead, playfully settling just close enough for a breeze to touch the other before taking off again.
She teased and he teased, and together they rose in a whirlwind of playful banter and witticisms, as the earth fell away, taking with it considerations of ties and bonds and reality and practicality. They each swept the other on, regardless of how wrong or right or anything of the kind.
Because they were having too much fun being butterflies.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
In the Shoes of a Working-Girl
So this is a desperate post detailing the trials and tribulations of a susceptible heart-beat when it moves into the same vicinity as a man who makes it go into overdrive...
What do you do when the toughest man in the office, the hottest man in office and the man with the most gut-melting wit are one and the same?
And what, asks a wildly beating heart, do you do when he's standing right there, being amusingly snarky at someone who isn't you and you're thinking... "I wouldn't mind being chewed up if I had that as an excuse to look at him..."
How low can you fall, when you know that he's not just a taboo subject, he's taken (yeah, heart cracks each time you say this)...
But the positive thing is that since you've already fallen and you're already displaying a complete lack of shame, you can allow yourself to wildly fantasize and dream, because (and this is important) since you already know you can't have him, you're basically watching a movie (rating for which is debatable).
What does the movie do? It allows you to imagine a rainy, stormy day when you're removed from the direct sphere of his ire, when he's banished the rest of his minions out, and you're packing up, mouse-like and scared, your heart beating at a million impossible beats an hour because he's mad, but he's around.
You're clearing your workstation, zipping up bags and putting away wires, checking phones and keys. And you're doing your damnedest to ignore him. Because that's healthy.
Until you turn away from your station to face him leaning against his door, arms folded over his crisp, white shirt, watching you. You can feel the blush, it's not even creeping, it's running a shameless marathon up your neck and face. You're stuck like a rodent in sudden floodlights, and manage to stammer "Erm... Goodnight..."
He holds his gaze, slowly walks towards you as you freeze, unable to move because your blood is racing so fast that it's doing nothing in terms of supporting your thoughts, mind and movements. He's so close now, you can smell the nicotine on his clothes. And it gets stronger as he unfolds his arms and pushes that strand of hair away from your face that has been flying around all day. His touch is cool and collected, just like he is. His eyes, his gorgeous hazel eyes are looking at you, enjoying the view of your increasingly flustered reactions, and you make the mistake of looking at him. And you're caught.
As he takes a step forward, his eyes now shining, closer to you, as you suddenly remember that you probably smell of chai... Too late now, however, as he leans in, his hand in your hair now becoming stronger, pulling you towards him, kissing you lightly. You needn't have worried about exhaling chai into his breath, however, because you gasp at contact, and he pulls away.
You're leaning back against your desk, and he teases you backwards, till it's a piece of cake for him to position himself in a stronger position above you.
And the rest is imagination... Your rating, your choice... Because he's giving a lecture about his work right now, and it's fascinating, as you snap back to reality. His passionate voice makes shivers run up and down your spine and arms.
And you sigh and stare at your screen. Despite the fact that you want to stare at him joyfully gesticulating...
What do you do when the toughest man in the office, the hottest man in office and the man with the most gut-melting wit are one and the same?
And what, asks a wildly beating heart, do you do when he's standing right there, being amusingly snarky at someone who isn't you and you're thinking... "I wouldn't mind being chewed up if I had that as an excuse to look at him..."
How low can you fall, when you know that he's not just a taboo subject, he's taken (yeah, heart cracks each time you say this)...
But the positive thing is that since you've already fallen and you're already displaying a complete lack of shame, you can allow yourself to wildly fantasize and dream, because (and this is important) since you already know you can't have him, you're basically watching a movie (rating for which is debatable).
What does the movie do? It allows you to imagine a rainy, stormy day when you're removed from the direct sphere of his ire, when he's banished the rest of his minions out, and you're packing up, mouse-like and scared, your heart beating at a million impossible beats an hour because he's mad, but he's around.
You're clearing your workstation, zipping up bags and putting away wires, checking phones and keys. And you're doing your damnedest to ignore him. Because that's healthy.
Until you turn away from your station to face him leaning against his door, arms folded over his crisp, white shirt, watching you. You can feel the blush, it's not even creeping, it's running a shameless marathon up your neck and face. You're stuck like a rodent in sudden floodlights, and manage to stammer "Erm... Goodnight..."
He holds his gaze, slowly walks towards you as you freeze, unable to move because your blood is racing so fast that it's doing nothing in terms of supporting your thoughts, mind and movements. He's so close now, you can smell the nicotine on his clothes. And it gets stronger as he unfolds his arms and pushes that strand of hair away from your face that has been flying around all day. His touch is cool and collected, just like he is. His eyes, his gorgeous hazel eyes are looking at you, enjoying the view of your increasingly flustered reactions, and you make the mistake of looking at him. And you're caught.
As he takes a step forward, his eyes now shining, closer to you, as you suddenly remember that you probably smell of chai... Too late now, however, as he leans in, his hand in your hair now becoming stronger, pulling you towards him, kissing you lightly. You needn't have worried about exhaling chai into his breath, however, because you gasp at contact, and he pulls away.
You're leaning back against your desk, and he teases you backwards, till it's a piece of cake for him to position himself in a stronger position above you.
And the rest is imagination... Your rating, your choice... Because he's giving a lecture about his work right now, and it's fascinating, as you snap back to reality. His passionate voice makes shivers run up and down your spine and arms.
And you sigh and stare at your screen. Despite the fact that you want to stare at him joyfully gesticulating...
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
With Age
He walked like any lanky teenager would, hands shoved into his pockets, shoulders slightly raised, and that sideways movement that teenage boys have patented, who have too much limb and no practice. But he did it with an assurance that came only with age, which was further reinforced by the grey in his hair. She shook her head as she made a mental note that he was probably not less than 40-something. It occurred to her to stop thinking about him, but it was already too far along the road for that...
He was such an attractive man, even at whatever age it was that he was. His smile was at once shy and a cheeky grin, and his eyes twinkled and creased while he smiled. And so fit... She had stood around, listening to his stories whenever she could, and it had made her look at him with a new kind of awe. So now, he was not only an attractive man, he was also strong, amusing, passionate and had a great sense of humour and taste in music. She was beyond fantasizing, by this point, so there was no point in warning herself off. She justified it away by saying that she wasn't even going to be getting half of a minuscule chance to act on her fantasies, so it was harmless.
The night breeze blew at her making her cheeks pink, she knew it. She also knew that she looked fabulous and she was acutely aware of him behind her. He was fiddling with a system that was playing some of her favourite music. Looking out over the water, she hummed along with the music, momentarily distracted by the sheer joy of being water-side again after so long. So it was a sincere surprise when she heard him next to her "You know these songs."
It wasn't a question, but she answered anyway "Yeah, they're some of my favourites. I love these artists. No forced rhymes back then..." and mentally kicked herself for sounding juvenile.
He was looking at her, though, intently, like he expected her to say more. Feeling her ears heat up, she looked back out across the lake. But not for long.
What in hell's name was his hand doing on hers? She looked down at his fingers lightly stroking the back of her hand, and then looked around. He caught the glance "Nobody's around. The presentation isn't over. I was supposed to set up."
She was speechless. What was he saying? She looked up at him, not moving lest the moment vanish.
He looked around once more, gave her hand a slight tug, and headed indoors.
She followed after a minute.
A low whistle took her towards a small room in a corner, where he was waiting.
Carefully, silently, he closed the door as she entered, turned on the light and looked at her. "Your cheeks are pink... Are you cold?"
She shook her head, still unsure if her voice would break this spell.
He reached out a hesitant hand "May I?"
And ran his hand up and down her waist for a few seconds before pulling her close and supporting her head with one hand. Looking right into her eyes, he leaned down and slowly kissed her.
She melted in his arms with a little sigh. The kiss deepened, his hands moving to her back, pulling her to him and holding her tight. She kissed him back as passionately, hands splayed on his rock-hard chest.
Just then, his phone buzzed, telling him it was time to go...
All night, she tingled. Memories of his lips intricately intertwined with Backstreet Boys and the water at night.
He was such an attractive man, even at whatever age it was that he was. His smile was at once shy and a cheeky grin, and his eyes twinkled and creased while he smiled. And so fit... She had stood around, listening to his stories whenever she could, and it had made her look at him with a new kind of awe. So now, he was not only an attractive man, he was also strong, amusing, passionate and had a great sense of humour and taste in music. She was beyond fantasizing, by this point, so there was no point in warning herself off. She justified it away by saying that she wasn't even going to be getting half of a minuscule chance to act on her fantasies, so it was harmless.
The night breeze blew at her making her cheeks pink, she knew it. She also knew that she looked fabulous and she was acutely aware of him behind her. He was fiddling with a system that was playing some of her favourite music. Looking out over the water, she hummed along with the music, momentarily distracted by the sheer joy of being water-side again after so long. So it was a sincere surprise when she heard him next to her "You know these songs."
It wasn't a question, but she answered anyway "Yeah, they're some of my favourites. I love these artists. No forced rhymes back then..." and mentally kicked herself for sounding juvenile.
He was looking at her, though, intently, like he expected her to say more. Feeling her ears heat up, she looked back out across the lake. But not for long.
What in hell's name was his hand doing on hers? She looked down at his fingers lightly stroking the back of her hand, and then looked around. He caught the glance "Nobody's around. The presentation isn't over. I was supposed to set up."
She was speechless. What was he saying? She looked up at him, not moving lest the moment vanish.
He looked around once more, gave her hand a slight tug, and headed indoors.
She followed after a minute.
A low whistle took her towards a small room in a corner, where he was waiting.
Carefully, silently, he closed the door as she entered, turned on the light and looked at her. "Your cheeks are pink... Are you cold?"
She shook her head, still unsure if her voice would break this spell.
He reached out a hesitant hand "May I?"
And ran his hand up and down her waist for a few seconds before pulling her close and supporting her head with one hand. Looking right into her eyes, he leaned down and slowly kissed her.
She melted in his arms with a little sigh. The kiss deepened, his hands moving to her back, pulling her to him and holding her tight. She kissed him back as passionately, hands splayed on his rock-hard chest.
Just then, his phone buzzed, telling him it was time to go...
All night, she tingled. Memories of his lips intricately intertwined with Backstreet Boys and the water at night.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
For Auld Lang Syne
I can see you in my mind, walking towards a generic pair of gates that part as their custodians salute you. The gaping gates soon close behind you and you walk on.
And back here, you don't even leave memories, you leave unfulfilled wishes. You leave a heart that cracks a little more everytime you take a new name and you leave a yearning that, despite your saying otherwise, will remain unsatisfied.
Why? Because I want you. I swore months ago that I would not be another notch on your belt, and to all intents and purposes, I haven't been. But everytime I see your face staring out at me from some screen, I begin to hurt anew. I have been wanting you since I spoke to you. And woman after woman after woman came to you, each hotter than the previous, and you kept enjoying it and telling me stories, unabashedly.
But I want you and can't have you. I want to be held in your strong arms, and want to be at the receiving end of what I know will be thrusts fuelled by gentle feelings and a sharp yearning. I have heard you tell me stories of your escapades, have heard your questions, come to you for advice, and under it all, I have scandalous fantasies playing in my head.
"Come with me, I have a place..." you will say, and like a lamb to slaughter, I will follow.
I look into your eyes as you come closer, in this little space for only you and me. I watch you get nearer and hold my breath as my lips finally get a taste of yours. It's bliss, it's just like I imagined it... Your strong hands at my waist start moving, one slipping being my back, spreading over the small of my back, and one starting at my shoulder and moving lower.
I wake up, shaking off the gentle shivers that arise even at an imagined feeling of your presence. You're the one I never had a chance with, and that unrealized dream I will always dream.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
One for the Road
"Make sure I can feel you in me and around me till you return..."
She looked up at him with eyes like burning sugar-cubes over absinthe, making his gut melt as a hot drink did, making her demand in a whispered almost gasp. His hand twitched in an involuntary spasm, giving company to the shiver that ran down his spine... She was his to hold and to pamper and love. His involuntary spasm resulted in her arching and closing her eyes in mewling enjoyment. It also gave him further impetus to make her whimper, damn she responded to him with a heart-wrenching abandon.
He dropped his face to hers, inhaling to his lungs' capacity, brushing her lips with his before exhaling a sighed "Babe, your smell is intoxicating."
He bent over, almost double, and quickly let his mouth carry on what his fingers had been doing, allowing his tongue to flick in and out, getting faster and more passionate as she bucked under him, in his hands, literally. She twisted and whimpered for him, begging for more, gasping out words between whimpers "Baby, your tongue works magic."
He let her relax as he eased up, till he freed his rested hand from under her, letting his fingers slide into her, and watching her arch as she sighed in relief, in contentment, beginning her customary movements, asking for more. She reached out to him, her hands moving from idly twisting in his hair and on his shoulders, to a more insistent tug up to her face "Kiss me, darling."
And he did, because how could any man resist those lips, and those deep eyes? She kissed him, hard, thrusting her body at him, giving him a right to do with as he pleased. If it were up to him, he would hold her to him forever, keeping her safe from the world, but life didn't allow that. As of now, she was giving him everything that she could, and telling him things that would boost any man's ego... "Baby, I want you... You're fantastic... I'm addicted to that feeling..."
And he responded as he could respond only to her... Sweat dripping down his neck, sweat lining her face, he drove her into a frenzy, making her toss and grab fists full of bedclothes to clench, making her hands start to tremble, till she collapsed under him in a spent, purring mass of person.
As he cleaned up and returned to see her in his bed, he was newly aware of how tiny she really was... He went to her, gathered her close and stroked her hair off her face, as she smiled up at him. "Dear God, I'm going to hell for the things I do to you..."
She stretched and kissed him "Mmm... Then so am I..."
"Not funny, I could break you."
Opening her eyes wide, she looked at him with a serious face, those eyes of hers telling him that his fears were baseless "Good luck with that, I haven't managed yet..."
She looked up at him with eyes like burning sugar-cubes over absinthe, making his gut melt as a hot drink did, making her demand in a whispered almost gasp. His hand twitched in an involuntary spasm, giving company to the shiver that ran down his spine... She was his to hold and to pamper and love. His involuntary spasm resulted in her arching and closing her eyes in mewling enjoyment. It also gave him further impetus to make her whimper, damn she responded to him with a heart-wrenching abandon.
He dropped his face to hers, inhaling to his lungs' capacity, brushing her lips with his before exhaling a sighed "Babe, your smell is intoxicating."
He bent over, almost double, and quickly let his mouth carry on what his fingers had been doing, allowing his tongue to flick in and out, getting faster and more passionate as she bucked under him, in his hands, literally. She twisted and whimpered for him, begging for more, gasping out words between whimpers "Baby, your tongue works magic."
He let her relax as he eased up, till he freed his rested hand from under her, letting his fingers slide into her, and watching her arch as she sighed in relief, in contentment, beginning her customary movements, asking for more. She reached out to him, her hands moving from idly twisting in his hair and on his shoulders, to a more insistent tug up to her face "Kiss me, darling."
And he did, because how could any man resist those lips, and those deep eyes? She kissed him, hard, thrusting her body at him, giving him a right to do with as he pleased. If it were up to him, he would hold her to him forever, keeping her safe from the world, but life didn't allow that. As of now, she was giving him everything that she could, and telling him things that would boost any man's ego... "Baby, I want you... You're fantastic... I'm addicted to that feeling..."
And he responded as he could respond only to her... Sweat dripping down his neck, sweat lining her face, he drove her into a frenzy, making her toss and grab fists full of bedclothes to clench, making her hands start to tremble, till she collapsed under him in a spent, purring mass of person.
As he cleaned up and returned to see her in his bed, he was newly aware of how tiny she really was... He went to her, gathered her close and stroked her hair off her face, as she smiled up at him. "Dear God, I'm going to hell for the things I do to you..."
She stretched and kissed him "Mmm... Then so am I..."
"Not funny, I could break you."
Opening her eyes wide, she looked at him with a serious face, those eyes of hers telling him that his fears were baseless "Good luck with that, I haven't managed yet..."
Friday, November 29, 2013
Vacation's End
Like knocking against a wall
Hands tied behind my back
Alone and closed,
With my thoughts and memories.
Straining, pushing, wanting
Being thwarted at all points.
Memories of arms, hands trailing shivers
Lips on lips and eyes locked
Few inches of separation
Warmed by you, warmed by me.
Looking at each other,
Silently acknowledging the truth.
Soon the warmth will be gone.
And you will be gone.
I'm still waiting, straining at the bonds.
Every last inch of me yearning.
Alone, and waiting.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Classwork
Multiple scents wafted around
the room, indiscernible, but somehow clearly demarcated. At least, she could
easily tell which came from whom, or maybe that was also because the scents she
could discern were so deeply ingrained in her every waking thought that she didn't need them to have name-tags.
Apart from a peevishly mewling feline
outside the closed door, there was relative silence. Nothing to distract her
from breathing in the scents around her and from relishing every cell’s
reaction to the stimulation she was receiving. Actually, more actively and
selfishly demanding, than the passiveness denoted by ‘receiving’.
His legs
stretched on forever, allowing her to intertwine hers in pleasure, feeling like
any amount of closeness was insufficient given the temporal nature of the
current setting. His fingers were sending arrows of fire along her frame,
making her gasp in a mixture of surprise and extreme levels of something beyond
satisfaction. His hair under her hands was silky, she loved how his lips felt
on hers, it was somehow, one of those coincidences in life… His lips and hair
sent sensations akin to lying freshly washed and dried under those light, soft
sheets of summer nights. Soft, and so damn arousing, she needed to hold him as
close to her as possible, she loved how his skin felt under her fingers. She
loved to touch him, run her palms along the smooth, warm surfaces he allowed
her to view once he took off his shirt.
She had never met anyone with this
potent a presence. She felt as helpless and drawn as a crow to glitter. There
was something about him… With him, every inhibition, every hang-up she had carefully
cultivated till date just went on holiday. She felt, hell, she felt like
Cleopatra when he looked at her; like something beautiful and unique.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Lycidas
Light streamed in from the windows, between the blinds that he was so proud of. It was a speckled, strangely surreal mood that it set in the little room. He reluctantly left her side, egged on by her paranoia, and she stretched out, looking up at the ceiling, luxuriating in the aftermath. She hated how she felt when he left; cold and discarded, and a sudden attack of panic made her want to sit up and make sure he was coming back. He preempted her sitting up, though, by standing over her and kneeling on the bed with one knee. She reached for his hand and pulled him to her, wanting the warm comfort of his presence and gravity combined.
Everything about him was pure magic. It was like a brief dream in her arms. His hair was silky and soft when he hadn't had time to put product in it, his skin was smooth and warm, and his lips were mind-readers. His breath was enough to make her insides clench in anticipation and whatever it was that he was making his tongue do, she was sure it was working miracles. She had never felt more alive than at his touch. She didn't need even that, anymore, in fact, all she needed was to be near him. It was sheer agony to keep away.
Lately, he had begun to talk more... "Babe, I love to feel you clench, you're so warm..."
"Oh God, you feel amazing."
He would know... She loved how he knew just how to drive her clean out of her self-erected boundaries. She lost all inhibitions, in retrospect, sometimes, she coloured at the memory of just how much... He knew just how far to go and how much to push. She felt her gut jump where he managed to make his presence felt. His fingers were instinctive, skilled and effective... And having him right there, holding her, looking at her like she was special...
Kissing her, he positioned himself and entered, smoothly, like it was second nature. This time around, he pulled her legs up over his shoulders, nearly folding her double, as he moved. Slowly at first, then, egged on by her requests, faster till he was re-entering with every thrust to increase force. She had a hand on his shoulder, conscious in the back of her mind, somewhere, that she was potentially hurting him, but she was incapable of responding to anything but him. She had a hand on the bed, bracing herself, straining towards him for as much as she could take and he could give.
She felt it begin, softly at first, then with more insistence... Soon, he felt it, and slowed down; stopping altogether "Babe, you're trembling... Oh man... Hey... You okay?"
She smiled, letting her legs lie on the bed, trembling from head to toe, in and out, waiting till the trembling stopped before she could coherently speak and let him know how much he affected her.
He pulled her up in a sitting position, holding her close, arms going almost all the way around her torso as the trembling passed...
Everything about him was pure magic. It was like a brief dream in her arms. His hair was silky and soft when he hadn't had time to put product in it, his skin was smooth and warm, and his lips were mind-readers. His breath was enough to make her insides clench in anticipation and whatever it was that he was making his tongue do, she was sure it was working miracles. She had never felt more alive than at his touch. She didn't need even that, anymore, in fact, all she needed was to be near him. It was sheer agony to keep away.
Lately, he had begun to talk more... "Babe, I love to feel you clench, you're so warm..."
"Oh God, you feel amazing."
He would know... She loved how he knew just how to drive her clean out of her self-erected boundaries. She lost all inhibitions, in retrospect, sometimes, she coloured at the memory of just how much... He knew just how far to go and how much to push. She felt her gut jump where he managed to make his presence felt. His fingers were instinctive, skilled and effective... And having him right there, holding her, looking at her like she was special...
Kissing her, he positioned himself and entered, smoothly, like it was second nature. This time around, he pulled her legs up over his shoulders, nearly folding her double, as he moved. Slowly at first, then, egged on by her requests, faster till he was re-entering with every thrust to increase force. She had a hand on his shoulder, conscious in the back of her mind, somewhere, that she was potentially hurting him, but she was incapable of responding to anything but him. She had a hand on the bed, bracing herself, straining towards him for as much as she could take and he could give.
She felt it begin, softly at first, then with more insistence... Soon, he felt it, and slowed down; stopping altogether "Babe, you're trembling... Oh man... Hey... You okay?"
She smiled, letting her legs lie on the bed, trembling from head to toe, in and out, waiting till the trembling stopped before she could coherently speak and let him know how much he affected her.
He pulled her up in a sitting position, holding her close, arms going almost all the way around her torso as the trembling passed...
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Proximity
She sat near him, wondering which life it was in that she had so easily agreed to his proposition. He was super sexy, she knew that for a fact, she could feel it emanating off him as he sat there. He wasn't even fancily dressed or anything of the sort. He just radiated sexuality. He was attractive, for sure, but that easy carelessness made her want him so badly, it was strange.
One thing was different however, between their online personas. She was not as words-into-action as he was. She couldn't believe half his stories, but he sure seemed like he’d lived them. And she wasn't very sure if she wanted to join the ranks of his stories. She wanted him, but she didn't want to be another notch. As of now, he gave her the importance of a friend, someone he still needed to pursue, but God, if she could play out her fantasies, he would've won and she would no longer hold the thrill of the chase for him. He was, at heart, an intensely male hunter, and the chase made him want. She was damned if she’d fall.
Fantasies she had plenty of, she could always resort to fantasies.
She remembered the way his hands had felt at her waist, how his waist had felt under her arms, the strength of his hands as they led her down near-complete darkness… She had wanted him then, too. She had wanted to tell him not to move, when there had been a very fleeting moment when they’d been close enough for their bodies to brush. Dear Lord, she had been so close to kissing him. His hands had been so close to her knee, he had been so damn close. She still couldn't resist the slight twinge of "What if...?" that hit her when she remembered that time, those moments.
Regrets, jeez... What a sucky reality.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Abstinence
As he helped her over the last few steps, she felt exhilarated and reckless. It was a beautiful night and there was only so much time before she had to say goodbye. The sea crashed onto the rocks a little further out, she traffic roared by behind them, their immediate surroundings occupied by people also looking for a little quality time.
"Sit, no, love?"
She snapped out of it and carefully arranged herself on the rocks, crossing her legs for peace of mind as he settled down next to her.
She turned to look at him, still finding his nearness so hard to believe.
"What?" he asked, turning to look at her.
She shook her head. "Nothing. Just..." She lifted his right arm and put it around her shoulders. "There. Now it's better."
He smiled. "Wait, it can be a little better also..." he said, as he leaned towards her.
"Mmm..." She loved his kisses, she loved how he tasted; of mint and smoke.
His left hand was at her shoulder and slowly moved along her side, fingering the hem of her dress, and making a questioning foray under. Her only reply was to run her hand through the shorter hair at the back of his neck and play at his collarbone.
His hand under her dress was now moving back the way it had come, making her shiver.
Suddenly, he brought it back to her shoulder "Love, if I leave it there, I'll be crossing limits that shouldn't be crossed here."
She looked at him seriously, and then slowly leaned in to kiss him lingeringly. "Just the fact that you said and did that..."
"Sit, no, love?"
She snapped out of it and carefully arranged herself on the rocks, crossing her legs for peace of mind as he settled down next to her.
She turned to look at him, still finding his nearness so hard to believe.
"What?" he asked, turning to look at her.
She shook her head. "Nothing. Just..." She lifted his right arm and put it around her shoulders. "There. Now it's better."
He smiled. "Wait, it can be a little better also..." he said, as he leaned towards her.
"Mmm..." She loved his kisses, she loved how he tasted; of mint and smoke.
His left hand was at her shoulder and slowly moved along her side, fingering the hem of her dress, and making a questioning foray under. Her only reply was to run her hand through the shorter hair at the back of his neck and play at his collarbone.
His hand under her dress was now moving back the way it had come, making her shiver.
Suddenly, he brought it back to her shoulder "Love, if I leave it there, I'll be crossing limits that shouldn't be crossed here."
She looked at him seriously, and then slowly leaned in to kiss him lingeringly. "Just the fact that you said and did that..."
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Virtual Reality
"What're you upto?"
"Nothing, really. Sitting around, watching stuff, looking for inspiration."
"Inspiration? Tum toh ekdum artist-type ho, yaar."
"Arre, of course. Creative hoon, I'll talk like it, no? What're you doing, anyway, other than stalking innocent people?"
"Stalking!? Innocent?? Tum apni baat kar rahi ho?"
"Ya...
"Ey, don't flatter yourself. Neither are you innocent and nor am I stalking you. I have better things to do."
"Hmm, fine. Excuse me, I was mistaken."
"Ey, you're not angry at me, are you? Sorry, I'm a little tipsy, I didn't mean to sound rude."
"No, not angry."
"Come on yaar, I was kidding. I wasn't stalking you tab, but I have looked at each aspect of your profile many times. You have a magnetic presence and I'm a very sensitive magnet."
"Lol. Itni nautanki? You don't have to be such a drama-queen, I'm not mad."
"I'm telling the truth!"
"Yeah, sure. What're you drinking? And all by yourself, too..."
"Sorry! Here, take some, I needed help with my whiskey *hands you a glass*"
"*takes glass and takes a gulp* Thanks. Ab batao, kya gham hai jisko doobaane ki koshish chal rahi hai?"
"Lol, no cheers? No gham and all. Just drinking for fun!"
"Oh, okay, your whiskey was making me build towards offering my shoulder for comfort, if there was..."
"I'm super-depressed. Where is my life going? I need a hug..."
"Abhi toh bola..."
"No, no. The truth cannot be hidden behind a straight face. I'm very, very sad.
"Are you sure this isn't just taking advantage of a drunk girl? We will assume that I'm more than half a whiskey down, I have a reputation to uphold."
"Haan baba, we've been drinking for hours, you bottoms-up-ed my bottle. And no, no advantage taking."
"Good. *rests head on your shoulder* Since you weren't taking any initiative, and your shoulder's tempting."
"*shakes shoulder, lifts your chin and kisses you* Initiative enough?"
"*shakes head* Nope. Be a man, come on..."
"Dekho, you're tempting me, you seductress...
"And you're doing nothing about it..."
"*picks you up, walks over to the carpet, lays you down, and lies down next to you* You sure about this?"
"*supports self on elbow, reaches up, pulls you down by your collar and kisses you* What do you think?"
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Wishful Thinking
It was getting darker, and there was a beautiful breeze blowing in her face. Music came to her from a distance; somewhere, someone was praying, and it was a beautiful sound in the gathering darkness.
Next to her, he was smoking the last cigarette from the pack.
She'd made at least five pathetically see-through excuses to initiate contact over the whole day, and her knee was tingling with the sheer closeness to his hand. He'd grazed her knee briefly for some reason or the other; she couldn't remember now, and it hadn't stopped sending happy-shivers up her spine since then.
She shook herself, mentally. This was self-destructive behaviour. This wasn't doing anyone any good.
As if on cue, her phone rang. "Hello? Hi... Oh no, nothing, just out with... Haan, but we decided to-what? Arre no, it's cool... Erm. No, but-okay... Okay. Are you okay? But... Arre! What's that supposed to... Fine. Bye."
She put the phone in her pocket and hugged her knees, frowning.
He put a hand on her shoulder, making her start. "Hey, what happened? Looks like the lake insulted you."
She shook her head. "Not the lake, it's nothing, forget it."
He frowned. It wasn't a nice change to see her usually open face so upset. "Hey... You sure? Who was it?"
She shook her head again. It wouldn't do to tell him, he was too close to the whole thing.
He put his arm around her shoulders. "Fine. Don't tell me, but don't feel so upset, okay? Come on! Life's about living!"
Without thinking, she snuggled into his side. She'd been thinking of this for a while. He put his arms around her, pulling her close, as she put her hand out for support on the ground. "You'll hurt that," he whispered as he gently pulled her arm off the ground and leaned against her, putting one hand between her head and the ground.
He leaned on his elbow and traced his fingers along the side of her face as she looked up at him, whatever she could see in the dark. "I wanna... But you'll say 'Kitna kameena insaan hai.'..."
She was beyond being careful, being right, he was so close, he felt so strong and real and there... She reached up, cupped his face, ran a thumb from temple to cheek and slightly pulled his face towards her; heart in her mouth lest she had read him wrong...
They kissed. It was like they'd flipped a switch or joined a fuse somewhere. He shifted in the dark, settling himself more comfortably, the hand that was playing with her hair now at her side, fingers dancing around, sending shock-waves flying from tip to toe. She was stretched out, and her shirt was just a little too short, leaving her pelvic bones open to air, allowing him new areas of exploration, he moved up again, this time under the barely-there covering she'd worn that morning.
His status with women made graphic sense to her now, his kisses were like little doses of beer; you wanted more when you came to the end of one. His hands were making her shiver in response to their exploratory treks along her rib-cage. Soon, they moved on to southern lands, while his warm breath took up their earlier task of making her shiver.
Suddenly, he pulled away, standing up and pulling her with him. "Wait, this is better" He said, as he held her close to him, one hand at her waist, one caressing her back under her shirt.
She sighed, but simultaneously mewed in complaint. "You're all tucked in and belted down..."
He chuckled as he spread his arms "It's not irreversible..."
Staring up at his profile in the light of whatever there was available, she slowly unbuttoned his shirt, breath catching mid-inhalation at the sheer sculpted feel of his torso.
He bent down, lifting her face to his, one finger under her chin. "Let me kiss you while you're at that."
She left his shirt half-unbuttoned, still tucked into his jeans, put her arms around his neck, and kissed him. His hands, finding themselves free were playing under her shirt, till eventually, he pulled away, impatiently, pulled off his shirt, pulled off hers, and slipped his shirt onto her arms. "Put this on, just in case"
With a sigh that could've been described as a soft moan, he bent his head to her now bared collar-bone, making her sigh in pleasure. He pushed her against the slope of an obliging rock, leaning into her, letting her tentatively kiss his neck as her hands played around on his chest. God, his rock-hard chest...
Her thoughts blurred as he displayed more skills, he was beyond all the fantasies, much better in reality than in her torrid imagination...
Voices, she could hear voices... "Oh shit..."
Scrambling back into the realm of decency, they started back down the hill, ending her fantasy, and back to the realm of the real.
Next to her, he was smoking the last cigarette from the pack.
She'd made at least five pathetically see-through excuses to initiate contact over the whole day, and her knee was tingling with the sheer closeness to his hand. He'd grazed her knee briefly for some reason or the other; she couldn't remember now, and it hadn't stopped sending happy-shivers up her spine since then.
She shook herself, mentally. This was self-destructive behaviour. This wasn't doing anyone any good.
As if on cue, her phone rang. "Hello? Hi... Oh no, nothing, just out with... Haan, but we decided to-what? Arre no, it's cool... Erm. No, but-okay... Okay. Are you okay? But... Arre! What's that supposed to... Fine. Bye."
She put the phone in her pocket and hugged her knees, frowning.
He put a hand on her shoulder, making her start. "Hey, what happened? Looks like the lake insulted you."
She shook her head. "Not the lake, it's nothing, forget it."
He frowned. It wasn't a nice change to see her usually open face so upset. "Hey... You sure? Who was it?"
She shook her head again. It wouldn't do to tell him, he was too close to the whole thing.
He put his arm around her shoulders. "Fine. Don't tell me, but don't feel so upset, okay? Come on! Life's about living!"
Without thinking, she snuggled into his side. She'd been thinking of this for a while. He put his arms around her, pulling her close, as she put her hand out for support on the ground. "You'll hurt that," he whispered as he gently pulled her arm off the ground and leaned against her, putting one hand between her head and the ground.
He leaned on his elbow and traced his fingers along the side of her face as she looked up at him, whatever she could see in the dark. "I wanna... But you'll say 'Kitna kameena insaan hai.'..."
She was beyond being careful, being right, he was so close, he felt so strong and real and there... She reached up, cupped his face, ran a thumb from temple to cheek and slightly pulled his face towards her; heart in her mouth lest she had read him wrong...
They kissed. It was like they'd flipped a switch or joined a fuse somewhere. He shifted in the dark, settling himself more comfortably, the hand that was playing with her hair now at her side, fingers dancing around, sending shock-waves flying from tip to toe. She was stretched out, and her shirt was just a little too short, leaving her pelvic bones open to air, allowing him new areas of exploration, he moved up again, this time under the barely-there covering she'd worn that morning.
His status with women made graphic sense to her now, his kisses were like little doses of beer; you wanted more when you came to the end of one. His hands were making her shiver in response to their exploratory treks along her rib-cage. Soon, they moved on to southern lands, while his warm breath took up their earlier task of making her shiver.
Suddenly, he pulled away, standing up and pulling her with him. "Wait, this is better" He said, as he held her close to him, one hand at her waist, one caressing her back under her shirt.
She sighed, but simultaneously mewed in complaint. "You're all tucked in and belted down..."
He chuckled as he spread his arms "It's not irreversible..."
Staring up at his profile in the light of whatever there was available, she slowly unbuttoned his shirt, breath catching mid-inhalation at the sheer sculpted feel of his torso.
He bent down, lifting her face to his, one finger under her chin. "Let me kiss you while you're at that."
She left his shirt half-unbuttoned, still tucked into his jeans, put her arms around his neck, and kissed him. His hands, finding themselves free were playing under her shirt, till eventually, he pulled away, impatiently, pulled off his shirt, pulled off hers, and slipped his shirt onto her arms. "Put this on, just in case"
With a sigh that could've been described as a soft moan, he bent his head to her now bared collar-bone, making her sigh in pleasure. He pushed her against the slope of an obliging rock, leaning into her, letting her tentatively kiss his neck as her hands played around on his chest. God, his rock-hard chest...
Her thoughts blurred as he displayed more skills, he was beyond all the fantasies, much better in reality than in her torrid imagination...
Voices, she could hear voices... "Oh shit..."
Scrambling back into the realm of decency, they started back down the hill, ending her fantasy, and back to the realm of the real.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Baby, It's Cold Outside...
It'd been a long, cold, tiring day, and I was beyond tired. All I wanted was to kick off my shoes, get rid of my jeans and relax with my pillows and blanket with the heat up and wallow in self-pity at the tiredness.
I sauntered through the sitting room, locking the door behind me, and pushing open the door to the inner room. And froze.
"How in the name of... What are you...?"
How he'd managed to get in there, I don't know. He had. He was sitting on the bed, chilling and watching my TV, leaning on my pillows and toasting his feet at my heater.
He grinned at me "You took long enough..."
I fumbled at the lights, trying to get enough illumination to ascertain the reality value of this vision.
He was nearer, now, standing right next to me, pulling me away from the lights, towards him. "Hey, why're you turning on all the lights? I like it like this..."
He had his hands on my shoulders, slowly walking backwards till he sat on the bed he had just been occupying, sliding his hands to my waist.
It was like I was running on automatic. My hands went to his shoulders, then to his cheek, which he hadn't shaved in the last day or so; the stubble was showing.
"It's really you..." I still couldn't believe it, he was here. He was really here. I hadn't been expecting him for days. Tentatively, to prove it further, I leaned down and kissed him.
God, nothing felt so right before; nothing so good, either. He stood up, his male ego being too dominant for it to take sitting down for so long. And now, it was his rock-hard torso that I could bury my face in, it was really him.
He lifted me up as if I were a stuffed toy and made it to the bed with impressive accuracy, lying next to me, one hand stroking my hair, the other arm under his head. This wouldn't do at all, he was teasing me, tantalizing. After so many days, after a mind-blowing kiss, he decides to keep his distance?
"I'm cold," I whisper, "come, keep me warm."
He was better than a blanket, better than the heater warming the sheets. His weight, negligible as it was, was just right, and his hands were making fireworks go off in my head. And in the pit of my stomach.
His fingers were making exploratory forays into territory they had stayed away from thus far, and they were doing a phenomenal job of warming me up.
"Wait." he slipped his shirt off, pausing at the hem of mine "You mind...?"
I shook my head, letting him pull it off, enjoying the sudden chill and the contrasting warmth from him.
His hands, so powerful in context, were right then at their most gentle. His breath on my neck was warm and sent shivers down my spine as he fumbled with hooks and buttons and other pesky things that were designed to thwart. His hands reached for my waistband, and mine for his, simultaneously.
He was asking for permission. In reply, I kissed him, slowly pulling apart the button from the button-hole. Almost at the same time, his phone rang, signalling that his ride had arrived.
"Don't go..."
It wasn't like me, but it slipped out. I couldn't let him go now, he would be gone so long. "I'm sorry," I whispered, clearing my throat and grinning up at him. "Have a safe trip."
It wasn't like me, but it slipped out. I couldn't let him go now, he would be gone so long. "I'm sorry," I whispered, clearing my throat and grinning up at him. "Have a safe trip."
He knew me. He held me, hugged me, kissed me one last time and left.
This night had been something for the ages, this was something which I would keep with me long after he had gone again. It was one of those memories for a cold winter's day, when I missed him.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Of Sado-Masochistic Lambs
Everything around her vanished as he walked in. It was something in the way he held his hands; the way he walked, strutting slightly and obviously carrying a tune in his head. It wasn't that she liked him romantically; she just wanted him. He had big hands, she wanted to feel held by those hands. He was tall, built in a lean and hefty way, somehow... She wanted to feel wanted by him. He knew what she meant; she sensed that he'd been through a past that had caused him to be as reserved as she was, inside; he knew her city; he knew her language. She saw the flights of volubility and the bouts of confidence that she herself felt at times. And maybe it was narcissism, but she wanted him to want her; she wanted to feel his desire through his hands, wanted to know what it was like to kiss someone like him. She'd noticed... He had brilliant teeth, despite his... Habits.
What would it feel like, she wondered, as he settled down nearby; what would it feel like to be pinned to a wall under his weight? He smelled elusively familiarly hauntingly attractive. She wanted to feel that presence all around her. She was sure he was slim; he didn't seem to have anything unduly loose. She shivered as her gut clenched, feet shivered and hair stood on end on her limbs.
She could envision it as she sat there. There are crickets chirping outside, the air is otherwise still. Everyone else has fallen asleep a while back; she's up and standing at the window, looking out at the lights. She's going to have to face quite an inquisition the next day, and she's dreading it. After a little introspection, she decides that she needs another bout of deep breathing to calm her down. She turns inside, fumbling for where she'd dumped all her things, finding them with a minimum of noise and a lot of effort. She decides to change windows in case she woke anyone up, and heads deeper into the house. She stands and listens for sounds of awakening and prepares to settle down. "Don't." his voice makes her start and inhale sharply as she whips around. "I thought you were all asleep, did I wake you?"
He shakes his head, walking towards the window "Nah, I was up. Indulged a little by myself.".
She sniggers "Remember my warning..."
He sniggers right back, "I will. But give that shit up, dude. It's not as rewarding."
She shrugs and puts her belongings aside for the time being. Doesn't look like she'll need 'em for a bit, anyway. "I prefer it."
They're standing and looking out at the city some more and the darkness seems to get closer. She decides to walk away and get to bed and turns away, patting his shoulder as she leaves "I should crash. Later, dopey."
She's at the door when it closes, seemingly on its own steam, but she knows the real deal, she can feel him behind her.
"Hey, what?"
She can't see much, but she doesn't need to, as he comes closer, pushing her into the door, and himself into her. He doesn't say anything and neither does she. She doesn't want to. She can feel his hand slowly sliding up her waist, and it feels just like it looked like it would. He finds the border of her shirt and slowly starts taking the parallel route to what he had been taking; separated from the cool air only by the shirt. A sigh is all she can manage at the warmth of his hand and another as the other one joins the first. His hands splay across her back and side, caressing if they move even an inch. He leans over her shoulder and against the door, slowly lowering his head till it's in the crook of her neck. Shivers spread down her spine at the slight feeling of his breath on her neck.
And suddenly, she's awake again. She sighed as she realised, making a face as she did, that reality was vastly different from her fantastic pictures. She smiled at him, and settled down to the tasks she had.
What would it feel like, she wondered, as he settled down nearby; what would it feel like to be pinned to a wall under his weight? He smelled elusively familiarly hauntingly attractive. She wanted to feel that presence all around her. She was sure he was slim; he didn't seem to have anything unduly loose. She shivered as her gut clenched, feet shivered and hair stood on end on her limbs.
She could envision it as she sat there. There are crickets chirping outside, the air is otherwise still. Everyone else has fallen asleep a while back; she's up and standing at the window, looking out at the lights. She's going to have to face quite an inquisition the next day, and she's dreading it. After a little introspection, she decides that she needs another bout of deep breathing to calm her down. She turns inside, fumbling for where she'd dumped all her things, finding them with a minimum of noise and a lot of effort. She decides to change windows in case she woke anyone up, and heads deeper into the house. She stands and listens for sounds of awakening and prepares to settle down. "Don't." his voice makes her start and inhale sharply as she whips around. "I thought you were all asleep, did I wake you?"
He shakes his head, walking towards the window "Nah, I was up. Indulged a little by myself.".
She sniggers "Remember my warning..."
He sniggers right back, "I will. But give that shit up, dude. It's not as rewarding."
She shrugs and puts her belongings aside for the time being. Doesn't look like she'll need 'em for a bit, anyway. "I prefer it."
They're standing and looking out at the city some more and the darkness seems to get closer. She decides to walk away and get to bed and turns away, patting his shoulder as she leaves "I should crash. Later, dopey."
She's at the door when it closes, seemingly on its own steam, but she knows the real deal, she can feel him behind her.
"Hey, what?"
She can't see much, but she doesn't need to, as he comes closer, pushing her into the door, and himself into her. He doesn't say anything and neither does she. She doesn't want to. She can feel his hand slowly sliding up her waist, and it feels just like it looked like it would. He finds the border of her shirt and slowly starts taking the parallel route to what he had been taking; separated from the cool air only by the shirt. A sigh is all she can manage at the warmth of his hand and another as the other one joins the first. His hands splay across her back and side, caressing if they move even an inch. He leans over her shoulder and against the door, slowly lowering his head till it's in the crook of her neck. Shivers spread down her spine at the slight feeling of his breath on her neck.
And suddenly, she's awake again. She sighed as she realised, making a face as she did, that reality was vastly different from her fantastic pictures. She smiled at him, and settled down to the tasks she had.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Dream Sequence
Walking along the main road; for once empty of any movement,
she's glad of the arm around her waist. These shoes were wonderful all day, but
they chose now to make their nastiness felt. Still, it gave her the excuse
she'd been looking for all night to grab his arm. It was such an attractive
arm, rock hard and steady. Very like his waist, which she'd come in close
contact with when she'd hugged him in a moment of absent-minded sympathy.
Together, they walked along the pavement, buses standing
quietly, waiting to drop revelers back to their anonymity. "Give me a call
when you're in town" He said. It was then that it struck her that this really
was the last time they'd meet. He wouldn't be allowed any free time till he
left the premises for the last time. And she wasn't going to be in his town for
a long while. Maybe it was time to see if the memories of this night could get
a little more... Poignant...
"It's cold" she rubbed her arms. He rubbed them
along with her "Warmer?"
She shivered, not from the cold, but because of his hands.
He took the next step. "I don't have a jacket. Don't tell your father I
did this."
Before she could react, he had his arms around her. She
looked around nervously. This didn't bode well for him if anyone saw it. They
were strategically placed behind a bus and an ancient tree. Nobody could see
them unless they were right there.
Leaning back against the tree, he leaned into her, giving
her warmth.
"You don't have to risk this..." she mumbled into
his extremely well-formed chest.
"It's okay. I've been wanting to."
She sighed.
Her hands decided that they wanted to explore a little. It
wasn’t that they were looking at new discoveries, they just felt like they
wanted to see if what they’d seen earlier that evening was an illusion of a depraved
mind. No. It was very real; every sculpted bit of it. Even through the shirt
and cummarband, they felt what they’d seen.
Meanwhile, his hands were moving as well. She felt them
slide down the slippery cloth, flick her thigh and then back up. It was the
most agonizing thing she had felt in a while. She wished she’d worn jeans and a
t-shirt. Some things might’ve been easier. Or buttons, like his. She
experimentally slipped her fingers into the gap between buttons. They liked it
there and decided to stay, moving up and down at times.
His hands had changed position. They were now heading
forward, caressing her sides, his thumbs doing daredevil tricks on her front,
the two hands stopping just short of meeting each other.
She looked up at him, something giving her courage to, and
touched his cheek. Her fingers brushed his short hair, smooth cheek, and
smoother neck and decided to go for it. Rising on tiptoes, she raised her head
and brushed his cheek. It was like he froze before his hands moved up to her neck
and moved her lips to abandon his cheek and meet his lips. The other hand
behind her back, her hands on his chest, distracting him a little bit, they
stayed like that till a sudden sound made them pull apart.
She cursed in her mind as she saw her ride back home
approaching. She wished this could go on for longer. She wished she’d met him
six months earlier when he’d played a less last-thing-ever part. She wished so
many things, but as they demurely walked back to the decided pick-up point, she
quelled every thought and composed her face. Her parents could never find out…
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Experiment
The night had mellowed into quiet, comfortable togetherness and the glasses lay on the ground, ignored for the time being. They'd served their purpose well and were now enjoying a well-deserved rest. Their users were lying on the ground, danced out and chatting.
Slowly, they fell silent, sitting together and enjoying the buzz.
I leaned out and touched the cheek so near my own, pulling her closer into a hug that slowly shifted, almost imperceptibly into more. My hands moved lower down the soft skin and along a form so similar to her own, enjoying the slightly forbidden element of this. We shifted a little so that she could shift her hands in similar ways, both slipping under the token covering of the huge tshirts to send goosebumps down each other's arms. It was like touching a mirror-response.
Slowly, we brought our lips together. I tasted the berry on her lips and smiled "You borrowed my gloss?"
She pulled back and laughed. "Yeah, I wanted to taste good."
I pulled her back, kissing her harder. The berry tasted better on her than it had ever done on me. "You can keep it, it's made for you. As long as I can taste it now and again."
The tshirts never stood a chance. They were flung away and lips began their movements down the paths that I'd secretly wanted someone to take for a few months. Her hair was open and flowing along the ground by her side, looking like an illustration. It flung into my face as she changed her position and now dangled by my left cheek.
A sudden sound made us start up and clutch at our tshirts and we were decent again by the time the guys walked in after their smoke and loo-break.
Slowly, they fell silent, sitting together and enjoying the buzz.
I leaned out and touched the cheek so near my own, pulling her closer into a hug that slowly shifted, almost imperceptibly into more. My hands moved lower down the soft skin and along a form so similar to her own, enjoying the slightly forbidden element of this. We shifted a little so that she could shift her hands in similar ways, both slipping under the token covering of the huge tshirts to send goosebumps down each other's arms. It was like touching a mirror-response.
Slowly, we brought our lips together. I tasted the berry on her lips and smiled "You borrowed my gloss?"
She pulled back and laughed. "Yeah, I wanted to taste good."
I pulled her back, kissing her harder. The berry tasted better on her than it had ever done on me. "You can keep it, it's made for you. As long as I can taste it now and again."
The tshirts never stood a chance. They were flung away and lips began their movements down the paths that I'd secretly wanted someone to take for a few months. Her hair was open and flowing along the ground by her side, looking like an illustration. It flung into my face as she changed her position and now dangled by my left cheek.
A sudden sound made us start up and clutch at our tshirts and we were decent again by the time the guys walked in after their smoke and loo-break.
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